Transcription

   “Hi everyone, welcome to The Royal Spectrum Podcast! I’m your host Sarah and I’m so excited to finally be talking to all of you. I wanted to create Royal Spectrum because it's time people apart of neurodiversity are heard and loved. 

   I was frankly tired and angry at how we are treated, but a very wise woman once told me “Get to know your anger. Tend to your anger. Make sure it doesn’t become destructive and give it a voice because it's the driving force for change.” 

   I want to share my journey with autism and hopefully help others discover and love how they’re wired. I want to share the tools I’ve learned along the way and have people leave my podcast with new appreciation for themselves and others.  

   This podcast isn’t just for people a part of neurodiversity. I wanted to create a safe space where neurotypicals can learn as well so that’s why I built my website as an encyclopedia to follow along without judgment. So if you ever don’t know a certain word I’m saying or want to learn more, my website RoyalSpectrum.org will be linked on every episode. 

   So let’s get into it. Podcasts as we know it are not as accessible as they can be. People often forget that there is a huge number of people who need accurate subtitles to be able to receive information. It's important to be accessible and accommodating to make your content understood by everyone, so I will be transcribing every episode on my website.

   So, what is neurodiversity and who created that term? Well the icon herself, Judy Singer, a sociologist who has autism, started using the term "neurodiversity" in the late 1990s. It refers to the concept that certain developmental disorders are normal variations in the brain, and people who have these features also have certain strengths as well as weaknesses. It’s saying that this is a part of the human experience and that there’s nothing wrong with you.  

   You may be wondering, Sarah, who are you and why are you talking about this? I am a part of neurodiversity because I have Autism, ADHD, OCD. It’s very common to have co-occurring conditions to Autism. You have so many variations to the autistic experience. You will never meet 2 autistic people that are alike. Or to go even further you will never meet 2 neurodivergent people who are the same. It's a case to case basis.  

   How I can best describe it is a circle. Think of drawing a circle on an iPad, now think of all those little pixels that make up a circle. Now think of that circle as the autistic and neurodiverse experience. You will have some pixels that are hyper sensitive to light. You will have some pixels that are hyposensitive to pain. You will have some pixels that will be incredible at memorization skills, drawing, or problem solving. Autism is unique to each and every person. 

   So let's say you go into an IEP meeting. Certain goals you had for one student, may not work with others. It's about meeting people where they are. I for one would’ve benefited in my school experience if people met me where I was. I felt like I was under a microscope because I was different from my classmates. I was held to neurotypical standards in school, social settings, and work. 

   One thing I’ve had to overcome is that expectation to be neurotypical. That has been looming over my shoulder my entire life. I was often villainized or targeted by parents and peers because I am neurotypical-passing. So I was held to standards or social norms that I physically couldn't meet. I really do feel like that is the autistic or neurodiverse experience for a lot of people. 

   Now everyone I've talked to who is on the spectrum unfortunately has a similar experience to mine, it has just manifested in different ways. So how has autism manifested for me? I was diagnosed at a young age but because of ableist forces in my life I wasn’t able to understand and love how my brain is wired until a couple years ago. I internalized every ignorant encounter that I started to wish I was “normal”. 

   I’m so thankful to have realized that I love being autistic. It's the interactions with Systemic Ableism that are hard. Not Autism itself.  Autism allows me to be unconventional. It allows me to be rational and logical. I’m able to be accepting of differences, be loyal and reliable as a friend, and have a passion for fairness and justice. 

   Growing up I always felt so different from everyone else because frankly there was no media representation to show someone like me. I really could’ve benefited from having accurate depictions of autism. So that manifested to whenever I was wincing in pain from sound or not understand social cues or norms I would turn it on myself because I was made to believe I shouldn’t be like this. 

   Having neurotypical society tell me how I should be or getting bullied I went into heavy masking (now masking is when you hide your autistic or neurodivergent traits to seem more neurotypical to fit in) and over time I developed an identity crisis. I couldn’t differentiate when I was Sarah or masked Sarah. A lot of autistic people mask to not be discriminated against. 

   There’s a huge debate in the autistic community whether masking is good or bad. Now personally I don’t think masking is entirely bad because where our society is with neurodiversity, this can be a tool to save your life. So if you’re ever in a situation where you could get hurt, please please please do not feel bad for masking. But the question is should you mask when you’re alone or with trusted people? The answer is no. You should try to unmask and be your wonderful and beautiful self. 

   An exercise I came up with that has really helped me is stimming while in the mirror and telling her, she’s beautiful while she does it. It’s helped me unmask and get familiar with unmasked Sarah. Now, stimming is something that we all do but it's specifically important and common for autistic people to help us regulate and control our emotions, especially if there’s an environment we can’t control. Stimming can look like shaking your leg, flapping your arms, making noises. The more I’ve learned it’s helped me unlearn my internalized ableism and give that unmasked Sarah love and compassion because she deserves it. 

   People a part of neurodiversity also stim to regulate. We should make stimming in public more normalized and accepted. Because stimming is not accepted, autistic people and more specifically autistic people of color fall much more victim to harassment by the police due to not knowing what’s going on with their repetitive movements or behaviors. Our body language when we stim can make us look more nervous or guilty of something when were completely innocent. 

   I’m really hoping we can change the narrative on what stimming is and have people be safer to stim in public because it's a necessity to be ok. The biggest way we can make this world a safer and kinder place is to learn more from the communities. Getting your information from the source is key to truly understanding. 

   Now the best way I can put this is, I wouldn’t get my information from an astronaut on how to sing better. I would go to a singing coach. The medical field is dominated by neurotypicals giving false information about us. What I love about this movement of autistics and neurodiverse people is that we are taking our power back. We are saying enough to the misinformation about us. We are saying enough to not being respected or understood. We are saying enough to being villainized. We are starting to understand how much weight our voices carry and I'm so excited to see this movement take more speed to propel us forward into a more accepting world. 

   Now I think that that is a great place to end this episode and I am so excited because that is a wrap on Royal Spectrum episode 1! Thank you to everyone that has supported this project and is supporting me on this journey! Until next time, bye for now!”